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Let's Restrict The Definition Of Marriage For Straights
By Jean Fritz, Fri Dec 9th

The debate du jour across the country is whether to legitimatizehomosexual unions with the title of “marriage.” The primaryargument against this move is that doing so dilutes the meaningof marriage and diminishes the family, which is one of thecornerstones of civilization. I happen to agree with thisperspective. However, there are heterosexual couplings that alsofit that template. Perhaps we should also restrict thedefinition of “marriage” for heterosexuals as well.

The most visible – and applauded – “marriage” illustrating thiswas the seven-hour liaison between and herfifteen-minutes-of-fame significant other. Legally, this was amarriage, but what went into it? About fifty bucks and a lot ofalcohol. Even the most hardline conservative can’t say that this“marriage” did anything to enhance the strength of the family.

A second illustration is Britney’s current pairing. Minutesafter the annulment of her first folly, dear Britney hooked upwith a guy whose claim to fame is fathering two out-of-wedlockchildren with a shack-up honey. These children now look forwardto the joyful experience of being knapsack kids, shuttling backand forth between households on a regular basis, hoping thatbio-mom, bio-dad or

stepmother Britney is willing to pull theplug temporarily on their all-important “career” and payattention to them. Boy, this marriage really did a lot topromote family values, didn’t it?


The debate about marriage needs an injection of intellectualhonesty. To be sure, homosexuality isn’t “normal” in either thepsychological or biological sense, and attempting to normalizethis behavior by calling sex between same-sex adults a“marriage” is disingenuous. However, calling what Britney Spearsand her current appendage did a “marriage” is just as degradingto the institution, and the damage that has been done to thefragile fabric of the children’s world is real, current andimmense.

In order to protect marriage, we need to define it as asanctified union between grownups who have a clue what they’redoing and are willing to assume the responsibility for theirchoice. Anything less than this – whether it be a union of gaysor straights – is a business deal.


About the author:The author is a freelance writer and farmer with a lot ofopinions. She lives in the stubbornly red state of Indiana.

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